Friday, November 3, 2017

Getting In Touch With Emotions

Realize that when you are having an emotional experience, there may be many things going on.  There could be a primary emotion such as anger.  Easy enough.  But there could also be tensions in the body that are related to the anger.  One of the better habits to cultivate is an ability to quickly (or slowly) scan through the body and notice where there are any tensions.  Often, a fair amount of that tension can be let go of immediately, once you are aware of it.  In addition to the emotion of anger, and the body tensions associated with anger, there could also be angry thoughts or something subtler like a grumpiness.  If you're experiencing dissatisfaction, gently explore the body, the emotions, the mindstates, try to understand where that is, what it is, what you are really experiencing.

Understand that I'm not suggesting you intellectually analyze your emotions or try to figure out the "why" behind them.  Why is not so important.  I'm encouraging you to actually feel your feelings.  For some people it might be useful to probe a little deeper, i.e. maybe there is a surface emotion, which is enough for basic noting practice, but maybe check to see if there is anything deeper.  I don't normally advocate "hunting" for objects of awareness in noting, rather just note what is there, but if emotions are tricky for you, it might be worth poking around a bit.  Are you noticing all of the emotional material?  Are you avoiding or resisting any emotional material?  Be curious, and try to make sure you're feeling everything that is there, that you aren't skipping over or ignoring something.

It may be worthwhile to remember that when you are experiencing anything related to emotions, maybe check out the other parts of the body-emotions-thoughts complex, and see what else can be noticed and possibly let go of.

This is similar to the idea of breaking things down into their component parts.  What is this sensation made of?  Where is it in the body?  Does it change?  These are questions to be asked and answered without words.  Feel this stuff.  Adyashanti once made the analogy of being like a mad scientist, exploring the feelings that you are resisting or fearing.  What is that nasty depression like when you break it down in this way or stop fighting it?  Or that rage or fear?  Plunge into it and first try to just let it be what it is and break it down, or simply experience it again and again.  Let it be what it is.  Be curious, as curiosity is a great tool for maintaining awareness.   What are the basic sensations, where are they in the body, what does that feel like, what are the thoughts, might I be able to let go of some of that?  Could I let that be without resisting it?  Do this until you begin to do this wordlessly.

I hesitate to get too deeply into the beliefs underlying emotions, because we are trying to break everything down into component parts, and simultaneously we're trying to avoid going into stories and narrative.  For our purposes the why is not so important.  However, I should mention that on this emotional axis and the body-emotion-mind experiences that are woven there, there is typically an underlying belief, an opinion, an assumption, often a fear, that lies beneath resisted phenomenon.  Letting go of the underlying belief can facilitate the letting go of all the various sensations.  If you are aware enough of your own psychology to go down that road, I recommend keeping the concepts to simply noticing something like "my parents were controlling", and then go right back to noting basic phenomenon.  Nothing to see here, move along - it is just phenomenon like any other.  Psychological analysis can take place outside of formal meditation practice.

So the recommendation for things you are resisting is to lightly and continuously, repetitively, explore the usual suspects of body, emotion, and mind, investigate without creating a bunch of stories, let go of what can be let go of, and ultimately let everything just be with as little resistance as possible.  The background of the meditative path is one of relaxation, which is about letting go of the tensions that we are often unconsciously creating.

"get comfortable with being uncomfortable"

Sometimes we may be dealing with something that is more persistent or troublesome emotionally.  This requires more of the same.  The pointer is to work in a very continuous way on feeling, accepting, allowing, acknowledging, welcoming, surrendering, opening up, making friends, being receptive, holding the space, letting be, letting go, etc.  This aspect of treating everything that comes up in a non-judgmental way, relaxing with it, allowing it, is a very important part of the practice.

Next:  Alternative Noting

Table of Contents for How to Meditate

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